Beginning with...drama

Just a little background info before I purge...

My name is Jane.

My hubs is Dick.

Our daughter is Mary.

The rest you'll find out sooner or later. In the meantime, I do have some drama that I have to get off my shoulders.

Last night my mother told my brother, Jim, that our dad is not his biological father.

That's right, now breathe...because I still haven't.

I've known this for over ten years...I found out right before I turned 15. My parents were separated, and in the midst of one of their battles, my dad told me that my mom had an affair about seven years before. I did the math and figured it out. I approached both of my parents about it, and what I got was, "He IS your brother. Your dad IS his father." But, as you see, no real denial from either side. I knew instantly.

My mother has a pretty heavy drinking problem, and it's only gotten worse over the last few years. She blames part of her drinking on the fact that she's had to hide this secret from Jim for so long (16 years). She said that it's been eating her alive. Honestly, I don't give a rat's ass. You do the crime, you pay the time. She claims that there are two reasons for telling him: 1) His biological father's family is getting up there in age, and some of them have always wanted to meet my brother; 2) She wants to be happy, and getting this off her chest will magically solve all her problems and cure her of her drinking problem. She told my brother out of selfishness, and she has hurt all of her kids in the process. Does she not realize that I, too, have hidden this secret for a very long time? I think about it EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE. Not a day goes by that I don't think about my brother having a different father. What she has done is not fair to anyone. Yes, my brother should know the truth, but he has so many anger issues and problems in school that this was absolutely not the right time. But she wants to be happy. We, of course, want her happy, but why now? I'm telling you, our family can't catch a break. Just when things start to normalize, some selfish mother fucker has to throw in a monkey wrench. I could've taken this to the grave, but because mom hits the sauce too hard, she runs her mouth (and according to my dad, half the fucking town that we're originally from knows about this because of her drunken rambling, and her indecency is the whole fucking reason we moved away from there 13 1/2 years ago).

Apparently, when my mom told Jim, he said that this doesn't change anything, and that he still loves our dad and that he IS his dad. He told Jen, my youngest sister, that he doesn't want to meet his bio. father. And then he cried.

So what did I do when Jen told me? I called my dad. He was PISSED. I believe "stupid bitch" was thrown out there a few times, and he hasn't used those words to describe my mother in a long time. He plans on calling my mom tonight.

Mom says nothing will change. She doesn't know that! What's going to happen when he finds out that he's got three sisters and two nieces who he's never met?!? THEY'RE NOT HIS FAMILY FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!! WE ARE!! HE'S MY FUCKING BROTHER AND NO ONE ELSE'S!!

I can't tell y'all the emotions I'm feeling right now. It was much easier when this was a secret.

And yes, I did speak with my mother. I really don't have a damn thing to say to her. It also didn't help that she kept telling me shit that I DID NOT want to hear...like that her doctor friend set up an abortion appointment in a city three hours away and that another friend was going to take her. What the fuck? Did I honestly need to know that? Knowing the gritty details is not something I need.

I could seriously go on and on about this, and I just might in my next post.