The Human Pacifier

Imagine this...you are standing in front of four roofers holding your child and having a conversation. Before you know it, she has her hand inside your shirt and is practically groping you. And everyone can see.

This is like, my every day. The ham loves to play with my boobs. There is no easy way to put it. I know it's a comfort thing, so I'm not freakin' out about it, but DAMN.

It doesn't matter what kind of shirt I'm wearing - t-shirt, tanktop, hoodie, sweater, turtleneck - she will find a way to get her hand inside my shirt and past my bra in record time.

What makes it worse is that it's probably all my effing fault. Yes, she is still nursing but not during the day. I no longer pump, so she's on whole milk. The problem arises at night. Because she sleeps with us and nurses at night, she hasn't learned to self-soothe. She can fall asleep without nursing, but she prefers not to do it that way. I'm like a human frickin' pacifier.

Something has got to be done, but I don't even know where to begin. Put her in the crib at night? Hell to the no! Our bedroom is upstairs; hers is down. Ain't no way she's sleeping downstairs while we're up. Move the crib upstairs? Sure! Now convince the hubs because he's being a pain in the ass about that. I told him, "Well she's gonna be sleeping with us until we transfer again." "Ok."

**Let me just mention that we haven't had sex in our bed since before the ham was born. This living room has seen a lot of action. I sometimes wonder if the neighbors can see our silhouettes in the windows...teeheehee!

Anyway, the boob grabbin' has got to come to a close soon. As much as I enjoy her finding comfort in me, I can't take the men in the office breaking a sweat trying not to watch or saying things like, "Not now, huh?" or "What is she DOING?"

Lovin' on me, damnit!